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Home is Where My Liver is (Produced by Smash Moody & John Tom)

from Sunnyside Up by Smash Moody

/

lyrics

Staring past the glass as the barren fields pass.
Mind running laps like a ferris wheel's path.
I'm scared to feel a lack of the presence of loved one.
The helplessness is a transparent steel trap.
Prepared to peel back another layer for the one's around me.
Feeling numb and drowsy, 'cause it's hard to see the sun when cloudy.
So I close my lids and rest against the glass and dream a little dream as the next defensive task.
'Cause every time I make the trip, anxiousness sinks it's fangs in this.
Dangerous to the mental.
I wrestle to feel complacent.
Face it.
Things are never gonna be the same as they were in the past.
There's no chance to retrace it.
And that's what fate is, the way things occur.
Whether they're meant to or not, till we're laying in the dirt.
And I almost went there one night last summer in my hometown.
Selfish, with a vacant sense of worth.
But ever since my lids lifted, I've vowed to live different.
Sipping of the vicious liquid nixed, and all the shit that's with it.
And I don't miss it, but I hate how things have changed.
A stranger watching everyday behind a window pane.
'Cause I'm just not the same and I'm barely around.
So many bridges built, fate now tearing them down.
But I'll spare you the frowns and melodramatic reactions.
I'd rather relax and cut back on the traction.
I'm not mad.
Everything is copacetic.
Aesthetically pleasing and mentally easing to know I've stayed free from the substance once destroying me and blocking weeks and months from my mind in chunks accordingly.
Many continue to live it the same.
Filling the picture frames with different flames and different mistakes and different drinks that take precedence.
The end to some relationships.
The result of when friends become acquaintances.
That's just the way it is.
Time proceeds and we strive to see light, maybe find some peace.
Climb a tree, hike the beach, whatever eases the nerves.
Till we're released to the sweet eternal sleep with the worms.
Free as a bird, that's why I had to fly from the cuckoo's nest.
The cage of designer drugs, raves and boozed-up sex.
Use your specs.
It's up to you to do your best.
I choose to live instead of humming to the tune of death.

I'm coming home where my liver used to roam the streets.
Not so discrete.
No relief until I cornered the beast.
Parted ways with the past.
Eyes ahead, just trying to blaze a path.
Or even make you laugh, weep, let the passion seep.
If I should die before I'm fast asleep, I hope the people I love know it.
I show it when I can.
Forever I'm helping these gardens grow from the sand.

credits

from Sunnyside Up, released July 4, 2011
Produced by Smash Moody & John Tom

Guitar by John Tomaszewski

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Smash Moody Chicago, Illinois

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